In celebration of Thanksgiving, Barry impersonated a turkey giving all kinds of silly reasons why it is not active on Twitter! I was so blown away by Barry’s idea that I decided to build on it.
Coincidentally, a sheep-related occasion took place last month! (The” Adha” feast is a yearly Islamic tradition where sheep are slaughtered and given to the poor.)
With all my sympathy to turkeys, sheep also deserve their own share of lame excuses to rebel against Twitter! Being a self-proclaimed Twitter fanatic, I will disguise as an over-biased Twitter attorney to defend the poor Twitter bird! Roll up your sleeves as the confrontation heats up!
Not So Fast! Before We Begin…
Did you know that sheep “bleat” and the sensational voice they make sounds like “Baaa”? Please bear that in mind as I will be using these beautiful expressions throughout the article!
(The sheep conversation will be in blue and the Twitter attorney in black)
Lame Excuse 1: Twitter is For The Birds!
Sheep: Baaa! Not using that Twitter thing! Twitter is for the birds!
Sheep: I hate Twitters’ super-tiny profile! It is not even big enough for a bird; maybe a fly can enjoy it! A ginormous sheep like me needs a Facebook profile where I can brag about my furry tail.
Attorney: Oh yeah?!
Well, at least Twitter does NOT terminate people’s pages without warning! In fact, it happened so many times that when Facebook messed up, Twitter saved the day!.
Lame Excuse 3: Twitter Is a Jungle!
Sheep: Baaa…Twitter is a noisy jungle! Everyone is speaking simultaneously and nobody is listening! What if I needed to escape the knife of a merciless butcher? Can this Twitter thing help me out?
Attorney: You bet! Here is how you can find help on Twitter:
Run to the first Google “station” and type the following: “intext:bio * animal rights advocate” site:twitter.com
The result will give you a list of people who have “animal rights advocate” in their Twitter bio
Sheep: Say what? I don’t get it! Give me an example.
Attorney: Your tweet should say something like: Baaa @AnimalLover1, @AnimalLover2 , @AnimalLover3… Pleeease help me out! The butcher will slaughter me!
That’s it! The minute you press the button, they will come to the rescue.
Lame Excuse 4: Google+ is HOT and Twitter is NOT!
Sheep: You don’t get it! G+ is on a roll and this poor Twitter thing can’t seem to keep up!
Attorney: Are you sure? Twitter is consistently enhancing their functionality and adding new features. Still in doubt? Take a look at Twitter latest updates.
Lame Excuse 5: Twitter is Limited!
Sheep: For a restless sheep like me, Twitter is super-boring! Can’t just sit around and tweet Bleat 140 Baaas all day long to be heard by no one!
Attorney: If you think that Twitter is all about tweeting in the dark, think again! Twitter is loaded with cool stuff such as Twitter lists and Twitter chats. Haven’t you heard of the super 5 Twitter treasures You’re nutcase!
Lame Excuse 6: Twitter is for Pleasure, Not Business!
Sheep: I can tweet about the mosquitoes in my furry tail, but how about my “Baaa with Me!” album that I am promoting online? Can your Twitter bird bring me some Baaa enthusiasts?
Attorney: Say no more! Businesses of all sizes and budgets are thriving on Twitter. You can use it for branding, lead generation, sales, customer service, you name it! Enough talk! The Garious Twitter Bible says it all!
Lame Excuse 7: Many People Are Not Using Twitter!
Sheep: Baaa! You make it seem like I am an alien from outer space because I am not using Twitter!
Attorney: Well, duh! With the glaring exception of Seth Godin, every single being I know ages 4 and up is using Twitter. Even Chris Brogan’s groceries are tweeting for heaven’s sakes! So, if you are not a part of this 200+ million users revolution, allow me to “jaw dropping-ly” ask: How was your trip to Mars?
The sheep (defeated): You seem to be making very strong points! I guess I have to give the Twitter bird a shout.
Attorney: Awesome! I figured you’re a smart sheep from the get go.
Did you enjoy the conversation? I sincerely hope so, but the mind-boggling question is…
At What Point Will the Halloween End for Garious?
This year, I disguised as Dr. Phil, Twitter Spy and today I had to become a Twitter attorney! I guess that sums up the Halloween party from me this year!
Finally, I must extend a warm “Thank You” message to Barry for inspiring one of my most “EduTaining” blog posts of all time.
You Be The Judge…
As you were following along the heated discussion, do you agree with the sheep that G+ is stealing the rug from underneath Twitters’ feet, or do you beg to differ? How is Twitter fitting into your social media strategy so far? Are you planning to expand your Twitter reach in 2012? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in D:\Hosting\5949118\html\blog\wp-content\plugins\folding-category-widget\focal_wp28.php on line 928 and defined in D:\Hosting\5949118\html\blog\wp-includes\wp-db.php on line 990